A year ago, I was dating the guy that I knew without a shadow of a doubt was the one for me. We had made it through a summer of dating long distance and, in my mind, we were over the hard part and ready to sail into married life. Well, that guy is not Zane, so obviously that has changed. When Brendan broke up with me, I was heartbroken. For 6 months, I wasn't sure how to be myself. I had prepared myself to be Brendan's wife so well that I feel like I had lost my identity. I'm not trying to say anything bad about Brendan. Even though Brendan and I don't talk anymore, I have nothing bad to say about him or our relationship. To be honest, Brendan taught me a lot about myself and who I am, some of that while I was dating him, but most of it while I was trying to recover from the heartbreak of our breakup. Now I can say, a year later, that I am 100% myself. I live my life the way I want to. I have really been able to focus on the things that I want and have found myself much happier. After taking the time to really find myself again, I was able to find a great guy that loves me for me. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not, or hide different aspects of my personality with Zane. He loves all of me, all the nerdy, weird, quirky, not so positive things about me included. And for that, I am truly grateful. I love him and I'm glad that I went through the pain and heartbreak that I did because it helped me be ready to give myself to someone in a way that I've never done before: 100%.
Zane and me. I love this guy :)
A year ago, I was still in school at BYU. Now I loved my time at BYU. I loved the atmosphere, the sports, the job I had, and the friends I made. But I'm definitely glad to be done with school. I've contemplated maybe taking some classes here and there, but I don't think I can handle being a full-time student ever again. I love the freedom of coming home from work and being able to do whatever I want (even if that is just watching some hulu and then going to sleep). Again, I feel like I am able to be more myself outside of BYU than I was at BYU. I don't want to sound ungrateful or unappreciative in any way, but I feel like at BYU, there are lots and lots of the exact same person. No variety to spice things up. Even though I'm living not too far away from there now, I find that I can be more myself away from the campus that I called "home" for 6 years.
A year ago, I had drifted apart from one of my nearest and dearest friends. Ky and I were roommates for 2 years, but I decided to move in with my grandparents after those 2 years were finished in an attempt to save money. That, along with my new relationship (with Brendan) caused us to drift apart. It wasn't until Brendan and I had broken up that I realized how important that friendship is to me. Ky is one of the rare people you find in life that you know you will be friends with forever. While at BYU, she was one of the only people I found that I could be myself around. I don't know why I let that friendship slip away, but I'm glad that we recovered it. Ky is now getting ready to embark on a journey that I'm sure she will love: an internship in DC. I will miss her SOOOO much. Just don't forget about your friends in Utah while you're gone Ky! I love you bunches!
Ky and I at her going away party :(
And last but not least, a year ago, I wasn't preparing for a trip to Houston!!!! Seriously, any of my Houston friends that want to hang out while I'm back, let me know ASAP! I'll be there probably Sept 7-10, so reserve your time now!!! I can't wait to get back to Houston and see all of my peeps there! So yeah, hit me up if you want to hang out!
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